Drinking Games: When the Fun Stops

By Barbara J. Shaya, MA, LLPC, NCC

 Right before our family relocated to Shanghai, my husband’s company hired someone to do an 8-hour ‘Cultural Orientation’. There was a significant portion dedicated to the importance of banqueting and the role of alcohol consumption. As the trainer described the guidelines for toasting, “ganbei”, I found myself flashing back to my college days sitting around a table learning the rules for quarter bounce. Except that now, well into my 40’s, this was a game I had no desire to play; and I pitied my husband who had been, and would continue to be, participating in such drinkfests. 

 Sure there are ‘tricks’ you can perform to reduce the amount of alcohol consumed over the course of a long business meal. You could discretely lift your glass as the waitress is filling your neighbors to stop her from filling yours. If others at the meal are smashed or not paying attention, you may get away with pouring some of your liquor into a napkin or into your tea and then asking the waitress to replace your tea with ‘fresh tea’. But even with these attempts, consistent alcohol consumption can take a toll on your health and personal life.

 The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) defines at-risk or heavy drinking for men as consuming more than 4 drinks on a single occasion or 14 drinks per week. For women more than 3 drinks on a single occasion or 7 drinks per week is considered risky. The more drinks consumed on any day and the more heavy drinking days over time, the greater the risk—not only for alcoholism and alcohol abuse, but also for other health and personal problems. Alcohol use can negatively affect a family in the following ways:  marital conflict, infidelity, jealousy, violence, and divorce. Health issues include liver disease, heart disease, sleep disorders, depression, anxiety, increased risk for sexually transmitted diseases and several types of cancer.

 Continued use of alcohol despite repeated negative consequences to your personal life, work life, and health is a warning sign that alcoholism may be creeping up on you. Signs and symptoms of alcoholism are:

• Tolerance: Over time you require more and more alcohol to feel the same effects that you used to feel with smaller amounts.
• Withdrawal: Anxiety, depression, irritability, sweating, fatigue, loss of appetite, insomnia, headache, nausea, and the shakes are all signs of withdrawal.
• Loss of control: You drink more than intended for longer than intended.
• Stopping other activities: Spending less time on activities you used to enjoy (i.e. spending time with family/friends, exercise, hobbies) because of alcohol use.
• You want to quit, but can’t: Your efforts to cut down or quit drinking have been unsuccessful.

 If you or someone you love is struggling with alcohol, it is important to seek help before it gets worse. Counseling and 12-step support groups, both available in Shanghai, have been found helpful to many others in this situation. Below are resources to get you started:

 Alcoholics Anonymous – Shanghai:  www.aashanghai.com

Shanghai International Mental Health Association:  www.s-imha.org

Community Center Shanghai:  counseling@communitycenter.cn

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:  www.niaaa.nih.gov/

Barbara J. Shaya is a Limited Licensed Professional Counselor, licensed through the State of Michigan. She counsels adults with diverse issues including: depression, anxiety, alcohol and substance abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, grief, divorce, and adjustment difficulties. Further information about Ms. Shaya can be found on the Shanghai International Mental Health Association website:  www.s-imha.org.