Breaking Bad Habits

By: Tiffany Wandy

We’ve all heard it before- people are creatures of habit.  Many of the actions we do throughout the day are so ingrained in our routine that we don’t even notice we’re doing them.  Unfortunately, some of the actions we engage in when we’re in over-drive mode are not good for us- whether it’s because they’re embarrassing, annoying, or harmful to our physical or emotional well-being.  For any of these reasons, we may decide to break certain bad habits we’ve developed.

How do we go about doing this?  The first step is to bring these habits out of over-drive mode and into our realm of conscious consideration, one habit at a time.  A practical way of doing this is by keeping a log* for a week of the habit and the relevant contributing factors. What led up to you engaging in the habit?  How were you feeling at the time?  What thoughts were going through your mind?  We often develop habits as a way of coping with emotions, such as when we’re feeling stressed, bored, frustrated, or insecure.  These feelings may surface more often and be more intense as a result of culture shock.  Analyzing the trends in your journal will help you identify triggers (for example, you start biting your nails every time you get in a cab).  If you’re having trouble catching yourself doing the bad habit, ask others around you to point it out to you. 

Once you’ve gleaned some insight into your behavior, you can choose to change it.  As many habits are coping mechanisms, it’s important to exchange the bad habit you’re trying to get rid of with one that’s more positive.  For example, if you’ve decided to stop biting your nails, you might start chewing gum instead.  Write down your commitment to breaking your bad habit and tell your friends and family.  This will help hold you accountable.  Make a friendly bet with someone to increase your motivation, or link up with someone else who’s also trying to make a change to lend each other support.  Read about other people who have been successful and try to learn from their experience.

Lastly, maintain your momentum.  In the beginning, you’ll feel the most enthusiasm, but you need to make sure you have a plan in place for when your zeal starts to wane.  Create constant reminders of your goal so that your plan stays conscious.  Post your resolution on your computer screensaver, on your refrigerator, on your bathroom mirror.  Keep these reminders fresh by changing their location every couple of days.  You can also train your brain to make negative associations with the bad habit, for example by snapping a rubber band around your wrist every time you’re tempted to do it. 

It’s important to remind yourself during this process of why you want to break this habit.  If you find that the change you’re trying to implement in your life is bringing you more headaches than relief, you may need to course correct.  What you actually substitute for the bad habit is less important than your feelings about it.  If you don’t feel good about the change you’re trying to make, it will be very difficult to maintain the motivation necessary to break the bad habit and create a new, better one. 

Remember that not all habits are the same.  Stopping biting your nails and quitting smoking are two very different situations.  In some cases it’s best to go “cold turkey,” while in others it may be better to make the change more gradually.  When it comes to addiction or more serious bad habits, you may need to access additional resources, including professional help (counselor, hypnotherapist, medical doctor) or a support group.

Throughout this process, visualize yourself breaking the habit and how you’ll feel once you’ve done so.  Reward yourself for the progress you make.  Not only will you feel a great sense of accomplishment when you finally kick your bad habit, but you may find that the self-discipline and self-confidence you’ve gained along the way will positively impact other areas of your life as well!

* (A more structured way of doing this is The Habit Change Workbook: How to Break Bad Habits and Form Good Ones by James Claiborne, PhD, and Cherry Pedrick, RN, available from www.amazon.com.) 

About Tiffany Wandy

Tiffany is currently the Community Marketing Manager for ParkwayHealth (www.parkwayhealth.cn) and the former Executive Director of LifeLine Shanghai (www.lifelineshanghai.com).